The Nurse put some alcohol onto one of the pieces of cotton and begun to probe my wound. My whole body convulsed violently in response. “God that stings!” I whimpered trying to hold back the tears in my eyes.
“You’re doing great. You’re the toughest man I’ve treated,” he said. I started to laugh.
“Oh yeah, in all of the years you’ve been treating soldiers who have lost arms and legs, I am the toughest? I find that hard to believe,” I stated. The irony rolled my eyes for me.
“Are you calling me a liar?” He said with a straight face. We both stared at each other for a few seconds, then we erupted into laughter.
“Okay, I won’t flinch this time, I promise. My shoulder is going numb anyway.” I said.
“Fantastic,” he replied.
I scanned the room looking for any clues to uncover who this man was. A wooden box and two pictures, sat on top of the Nurse’s desk. The first picture is of the Nurse and another man in army fatigues. The two soldiers shaking hands in a desert landscape. The second picture is a ripped portrait of him and a young boy dressed in a black and white suit. “I assume you served as a medic?” I stated.
“You assume correctly. I spent eight years of my young adult life in the desert. Years I never will get back.” he coldly stated. “At least you made a friend over there.” I suggested consolingly.
“What? Oh yeah, the picture. We became close after I removed shrapnel about the size of a tangerine, out of his ass. Funny guy. He could make a suicide bomber laugh at gunpoint.” The Nurse chuckled.
“Are you guys still in touch?” I asked. He paused cleaning my wound, a scowl washed the jovial look off his face. His eyes locked with mine.
“How well can you keep a secret?” The Nurse asked.
“I’m the best, my parents still think my sister is a virgin.” I responded with a grin. He unleashed an uproarious belly laugh accompanied by a few stomps onto the carpet, shaking his office like an earthquake.
“That was a good one junior. I ask because if you tell anyone, it could end my job. I can tell you are a trustworthy kid. He’s my boyfriend. The school district doesn’t like homosexuals working closely with kids. They think if the district starts to hire gays, there would be a high possibility the gay would turn out to be a pedophile or pass on his sexuality to a student, like a disease or something,” he explained with a look of contempt on his wrinkled brow.
“I’ve never met someone that was gay before, or at least somebody who would admit he was. I was taught homosexuality is a lifestyle of sin and an abomination in God’s eyes. After meeting you, I can’t see why out of all the evil in the world, God would condemn a war-veteran, nice guy like you. Your secret is safe with me. I got your back,” I said as we exchanged a warm friendly smile.
“I was condemned the second I met Todd. I felt things for him I never had with my wife. Sorry you don’t want to hear this. There aren’t too many people I can tell about my sexuality, so the floodgates have opened. Sorry about that.” He said apologetically as he was wiping a tear out of his eye.
The Nurse pulled out a roll of gauze from his black bag. He unrolled the wound dressing, and begun to ravel my infliction inch by inch. An Ensuing silence filled the office. “Since he told a secret, can I tell a secret of my own?” I thought to myself. “I have something I’d like to tell you; can you promise not to tell anybody else? Let’s make a pact, if you tell my secret, I’ll tell yours?” I stated forcefully.
“Okay, I promise. Just consider me a priest. I mean the confessional seal part, not the altar boy scandal part.” He jested. He extended his hand towards me. “Shake on it?” He asked. I extended my hand to meet his. We shook hands firmly, while studying each other for signs of deception.
“It’s not about my sexuality or anything along those lines… I’m straight by the way,” I stuttered.
“Duly-noted, please continue,” he interjected.
Anxiety began to pump through my veins, as I search for the words to begin my first disclosure of my own personal demon. “I hear a voice from time to time. I thought I had a direct line to God. I know I sound schizophrenic right now, but I need you to hear me out before you say anything. I thought he was a divine being before he started to tell me to do evil things. Things which directly violate scripture. One night, the voice I thought was God, revealed its sinister true form – a fallen angel – who thirsts for my mental slavery.”