The Darkness

Jesus doesn’t even bother talking to me, all I hear are demons crawling through my brain like spiders cocooning their prey. “Lord Jesus, why have you abandoned me and cursed my brain to roam with the angels you casted out of the pearly gates? What can I do to become one of your faithful children again? Should I go to bible study more often? Should I convert a friend from school using your grace and love as guidance? Should I say “fuck” less? I’ll do whatever you ask me to do, please, just speak to me lord. I’m asking you as your humble child. Love you with all my heart, amen,” I pleaded.

I picked myself up off my knees, fell back onto my mattress and exhaled deeply. A deafening silence entered my room as I stared into the hole of deep despair for the first time in my adolescent life. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is my moral bedrock. Without Christ, there’s nothing except me and my demons. Was I talking with the darkness the whole time? The confusion sunk my whole body down into the mattress, like a fifty-pound weight. My eyelids felt like slabs of concrete, they began to descend to the bottom of my ocular cavities. 

“There is no other god than I. I will come in many forms over the course of your life. I’ll make sure you will suffer in this life to prepare you for your afterlife as my slave,” the demon growled. A cold shiver shot through my body like lightening traveling through a redwood.

“I have to go to sleep, I have to sleep this nightmare off before he consumes my body and soul. I don’t know how long this can go on for, before the demon wins.” Sleep…sleep…